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Seeing the mug

Bette’s Ocean View Diner

I think of

my mother

Bette Hutchison Silver


I am the connection

of every member

of our family

to my mother

Bette Hutchison Silver (date 1996?)

I am becoming

the connection

to my father


Constructing that connection

began seven years ago

after my mother’s death


Discovering documents

hidden in her attic


Researching online

to write

a book

that is and is not

the story of my father


So remember

through me

you are connected

and ever shall be


Today 22 June is the birthday of my brother Lon, aka “little Lon” because he was Lon Jr. and he was over 10 years younger than me.

In June 1955, I was about to go away for 8 weeks for summer camp in northern Michigan.  I kept waiting and waiting for my mom to have this baby.  He was a month late and weighed almost 10 pounds.  Lon was born just before I was about to get on a train to go to camp.  I got to see him just once before I left.

Lon died 5 May 2014, in Mazatlan, Mexico.  While he was on his bicycle at a corner waiting for a traffic light to turn green,  a bus clipped him and knocked him down.  He died almost instantly.

I am thinking of you, Lon.  Your photo is on my  computer.

We miss you Lon.

My brother Lon Hutchison and me 2011



A certain numbness

trying to recreate

a family

both living and dead

Thinking of

my brother Lon

my only brother

Four years ago today

Riding his bike

in Mazatlan, Mexico

Waiting on a street corner

for the light to change

A bus clipped him

Down and dead

within minutes

Charming, intelligent

talented, difficult

My brother Lon


Lon with wife Olivia, stepdaughter Josefina, 2000


Nature Reserve


The gate signing

what can and

cannot be done

Walking on

path rutted

shaped by many feet

Scraggly natives

Yellow strawflowers

Grey green shoulder

broken by embedded stone

Piercing red rosehips

Screaming noisy miner

birds signal invasion

Swinging head

back and forth

Kangaroos watching

waiting, then

fleeing from unknown

Arriving at summit

Grey clouds open

slivers of gold

above blue ridges

defining the end

     Sunset      Red Hill Nature Reserve                     Canberra Australia


Thinking of my brother Lon Hutchison.  His birthday is 22 June.  He would have been 62 years old.  He was hit by a bus and killed in Mazatlan Mexico 5 May 2014. 

no writing for this blog for months

not that I’m not thinking about

my mother

my family

my brother

my sister, who recently died of cancer

my nephews

my sons

What is taking up all of my writing thoughts, time?

my father

working on a novel

based on events in his life

events I never knew about

events that appear in documents

as if he were a stranger

I am still trying to get to know him

45 years after he died Lon Hutchison young man

Lon with wife Olivia, stepdaughter Josefina, 2000

Lon with wife Olivia, stepdaughter Josefina,            Mazatlan, 2009

I can remember

learning through facebook

in Nairobi Kenya

The death of my brother

in Mazatlan Mexico

two years ago


In Mazatlan

on the corner

standing with his bike

Waiting for

the traffic light

to change

Just waiting

while a bus

cut the corner


He had gone out

on his bicycle

to run errands

His step daughter

and her grandmother

waiting for his return


Someone came yelling

Lon’s been hurt

His stepdaughter ran

to the clinic

Too late

He was gone


We miss you Lon!


Dinner In Mazatlan, my mom Bette, Olivia, Lon, Jim, me, 2004

Dinner In Mazatlan, my mom Bette, Olivia, Lon, Jim, me, 2004

Lon Hutchison at the Celebration of our mother Bette Hutchison Silver's life, March 2011

Lon Hutchison at the Celebration of our mother Bette Hutchison Silver’s life, March 2011

My brother Lon Hutchison and me 2011

My brother Lon Hutchison and me 2011








Out of sorts



Feeling down and out

For no apparent reason

Cold in and out of the house

Electricity shut off during

Re-installation of solar panels

Suddenly I



would have been

the 60th birthday

of my brother

I miss you Lon.

My brother Lon Hutchison and me 2011

My brother Lon Hutchison and me 2011

How do we keep family

with us

through geography

through belief systems

through property

through money

Or today



digital photos



How many homes today

have printed photos

old family photos

family photo albums?

What will happen to family photos

in the future?

Will everything be online?

Will people look at their

family photos?

Every day I pass by

my family on shelves

next to my kitchen cupboard.

Old photos

When was the last one taken?

Over five years ago

The oldest one?

Not sure but

there is a photo of my

paternal grandfather

who was shot and killed

or so the family lore goes

by a jealous husband

somewhere in Oklahoma.

So that would have been


Sometime in the 1920’s?

Then the photo of my father

With his sister Margery

and brother Jack

could be older.

My father born in 1907

He looks to be about 10 or 11

in the photo.

Family lore has it that he left

home at 13 and rode the rails

From Oklahoma

to San Francisco.

Photo of my brother Lon

with his wife Olivia and

our mother Bette Silver

in Mazatlan, Mexico.

Photo of Jim with his

older sister Erica

mother Hsiao Li

father Michael Lindsay

in Oxford England, 1947.

Photos of me as a baby, 1946

held by my mother

Bette Jo Hutchison

and my maternal grandmother

Irene Higginbotham.

Photo of my sons Nathan and

Gabriel with their cousin Lawrence

in Kansas City

Date? Maybe about 1989?

Can I name all the places

the photos were taken?

Kansas City, Joplin, Missouri

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Oxford, Lake District, England

San Francisco, Pajaro Dunes,

Yosemite, California

Beijing, China

Islamabad, Pakistan

Caracas, Venezuela.

Not all the family is present.

Not all the places are listed.

Family on the shelves in my kitchen, Canberra, Australia

Family on the shelves in my kitchen, Canberra, Australia

7 August 2014

To be in Mazatlan

and yet

not be

with my mother

who spent many winters


or with my brother

who established a family

renovated a house and

built another house


I was with my mother

when she died.

I know she’s gone.

But I was far away

when my brother

on his bike

was hit by a bus.

Maybe if I look in

just the right place

I will find my brother.

Lon's house that he renovated in El Roble, a village near Mazatlan

Lon’s house that he renovated in El Roble, a village near Mazatlan

Lon's house that he built in Playa Sur, Mazatlan

Lon’s house that he built in Playa Sur, Mazatlan

In front of Lon's house, Fatima, me, Josefina (Lon's stepdaughter)

In front of Lon’s house, Fatima, me, Josefina (Lon’s stepdaughter)

Me with Maria del Carmen, Lon's mother-in-law

Me with Maria del Carmen, Lon’s mother-in-law


I just wanted to say to you and your family how sorry we are for the loss of your brother, Lon.  We heard the news on May 6  from our other close friend, Sam, who lives in Berlin Germany.  He called us saying he heard the news through facebook friends and shared the news article with us.  

  I know it must have been difficult for you being so far away, and I am glad to see that you have made your way to Mexico.  Your blog that started out for your mom, has been a comfort to Lon’s friends, to at least hear your thoughts and in some way mourn together through that. I heard a lot about you and your family from Lon over the 20 something years of our friendship, but never had the pleasure of meeting you.  My husband David meet your mom many times when she would come to NY.

My husband David, Sam (who flew into NY from Germany), and some of Lon’s ex-coworkers from NY, and myself, got together last month in NYC to have our own little memorial for Lon.  We had some good food at Keen’s steakhouse (one of Lon’s NY favorites) and some drinks at a local bar.  We talked about our many “Lon stories”, and laughed and cried, and it was good for us all. 

I just wanted you to know that Lon’s NY friends did their best to do him proud and remember him, and we will never forget him.  He was a great friend and a huge part of the person I have grown into.  I met him through my husband when I was 17 (when we started dating) and now I am almost 44.  We would spend nearly every weekend with him in NYC, listening to music, going to concerts, shopping, eating etc. He was there when David and I got married, and he was there when my kids were born. My daughter Lynn is 20, and my son Kurt is 17, and they loved Lon too.  They had a great time visiting him and his family in Mazatlán back in 2008. We are so grateful we met Olivia before she passed away about a year later. We never saw Lon happier.

 I am attaching a couple of pictures we took when in Mexico.  One is a great family photo and the other is of David and Lon.

 All best to you and your family.


Connie Freda

New Milford, CT, USA

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