10 March 2017

Mom’s Australian Hat from her visit in 1992

the passing on                                                                                                                                  from one generation to another
an object
a beloved object
my mother gave me                                                                                                                      too many objects
I wear them
I remember her
but there are so many
Is any one special
was any her favourite
no way to know

Today’s your birthday, Mom. I wish we could celebrate together.

Love,                                                                                                                                           Pamela

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1 March 2017

I remember.  The final day I had with you Mom.  1 March 2011.  I was there when you opened your eyes, looked at me and your grandson Nathan and then closed your eyes forever.  A few days earlier you had asked me if you were dying.  I said yes and that everything was taken care of, you could go in peace.  And you did.

Yesterday I got out your blue jean jacket with the patches from one of your trips to Africa.  You sewed all the patches and embroidered the outline of the African continent on the back of the jacket.

Mom's Africa Jacket

                     Mom’s Africa Jacket

I live surrounded by you.  Whenever I go out, I open up the drawers with your jewelry and choose something to wear.  Bracelets, necklaces, so many to choose from.

You are always with me and will be forever.

With love,

Pamela

 

no writing for this blog for months

not that I’m not thinking about

my mother

my family

my brother

my sister, who recently died of cancer

my nephews

my sons

What is taking up all of my writing thoughts, time?

my father

working on a novel

based on events in his life

events I never knew about

events that appear in documents

as if he were a stranger

I am still trying to get to know him

45 years after he died Lon Hutchison young man

I have been writing

short pieces

reflections

research

notes

Scanning books

upon books

upon books

Living in a different reality

that of my father

But not of my father

I am living it intellectually

He was living it viscerally

Emotionally

Painfully

I feel phantoms

of pain

awareness of

suffering

confusion

disgrace

stigma

being shut out

being kicked out

a reject

Yet with tremendous will

to be different

in his own life

using the template

of Christian Science

 

I have to start over

I will go through his life

again

with more depth

more understanding

Organize the research

get back into the routine

of writing

 

In a university seminar

a transitional community

with people

thinking of

talking about

practicing

writing

stimulating

like a jump into a cold river

on a hot day

 

Narrative joins the dots

between facts

The story of my father

Connections to find meaning

Calling out to my father

Come home, come home

it’s suppertime

Character development

a man chooses hope

a man chooses a template

a way of life to climb out of the depths

of the snake pit

Lon Hutchison young man

 

If it matters

I should write about it

 

The grace of the Greens

the commitment

the creativity

the hope

 

Reaching out to

hidden reality

of people suffering

People not spoken of

not cared for

Imprisoned indefinitely

having committed no crime

 

Diving down

into the Reef

Caring for sea life

for beauty underneath

 

Listening to sounds

of gates

being locked

against intruders

coal mines

coal seam gas

that destroy land

and beauty

and life itself

 

Remembering

traditional custodians

of country

who never ceded

sovereignty

 

Recapturing

the immense

possibilities

of sun and wind

in an ancient continent

Greens Triangle

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wakalusa Lake, near Vinland Kansas USA

Wakalusa Lake, near Vinland Kansas USA

Blend together

fold in ingredients

as if making bread

add seeds

variety

crunch

texture

Bring together

people

places

friendships

history

Knead

gently

Let rise

in a

warm place

Bake

carefully

What do you have?

Your self

 

Lon with wife Olivia, stepdaughter Josefina, 2000

Lon with wife Olivia, stepdaughter Josefina,            Mazatlan, 2009

I can remember

learning through facebook

in Nairobi Kenya

The death of my brother

in Mazatlan Mexico

two years ago

 

In Mazatlan

on the corner

standing with his bike

Waiting for

the traffic light

to change

Just waiting

while a bus

cut the corner

 

He had gone out

on his bicycle

to run errands

His step daughter

and her grandmother

waiting for his return

 

Someone came yelling

Lon’s been hurt

His stepdaughter ran

to the clinic

Too late

He was gone

 

We miss you Lon!

 

Dinner In Mazatlan, my mom Bette, Olivia, Lon, Jim, me, 2004

Dinner In Mazatlan, my mom Bette, Olivia, Lon, Jim, me, 2004

Lon Hutchison at the Celebration of our mother Bette Hutchison Silver's life, March 2011

Lon Hutchison at the Celebration of our mother Bette Hutchison Silver’s life, March 2011

My brother Lon Hutchison and me 2011

My brother Lon Hutchison and me 2011

 

 

 

 

 

The weight of

tradition

on my finger

between

middle and little

A golden ring

an amber stone

from my mother

 

Today wearing

her Egyptian gold necklace

her gold and jade bracelet

her gold bangles

and the heavy weight ring

 

A couple from Perth

I offer to take their photo

No selfies please

in front of the red and white

recycled, solar lit

Year of the Monkey

sculpture

at the Australian National Library.

They commented

on my jewelry

I was pleased

someone noticed

 

My mother left it to me

knowing I had none

Influencing my behavior

from beyond death

No grave

Cremated

and a wind sculpture

memorial to her

in a Kansas City park.

I wear her jewelry

in her memory

 

The Chinese woman

from Perth told me

Treasure that bracelet

Jade plus gold

Unusual

 

Back at home

I remember her words

as I remove the

gold and amber ring

from my finger

with soap

Mom Golden jewelry
                        My mom, some years ago,                                                                   wearing her amber and gold jewelry

Kangaroos Red HIll 014

The gate signing

what can and

cannot be done

Walk through

path rutted

shaped by so many feet

no need to look

Scraggly natives

Yellow strawflowers

Grey green shoulder

Broken by embedded stone

Piercing red rose hips

Screaming noisy miner

birds signal invasion

Swinging head

back and forth

Kangaroos watching

waiting

Fleeing from unknown

Arrived

on top

Viewing all

under control until

Grey clouds

open

slivers of gold

above blue ridges

defining the end

 

Vista Red Hill Sunset_0391

Gum Tree 20002

 

White skeleton

of a gum tree

against green

deen deen deen

Bell birds

toll slow death

of the forest

 

Gum Trees 20005

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